(July 17, 2017, Beautiful roses I received from my favorite guy…just because)
Last week I hit a low point.
I ran into and spent time with some friends I went to high school with, and, of course, they all bubbled over as they discussed the excitement of attending university and complained about homework, essays, and group projects, but expressed that they couldn’t wait to continue their studies in the fall.
While I was happy for my friends, I had that “What am I doing with my life?” moment…again.
I know that in my first letter, Rooted, I explained that I had accepted where I was at this point in my life and encouraged others to do the same. But how many of us know that being patient and being satisfied with where you are is a day-to-day process?
We all have bad days, and that’s what I was experiencing a few days ago.
After hanging out with some old friends, I lamented to my boyfriend about how discouraged I felt.
I told him: “What am I doing that is valuable? Absolutely nothing.”
You want to know what he did?
I was completely shocked.
“It’s not funny! Tell me, what is funny about this?!” I yelled at him.
He replied: “Leading worship isn’t valuable to you? Pouring into students’ lives in youth ministry isn’t valuable to you? Volunteering, praying over people, seeing others healed, and witnessing God work miracles isn’t valuable to you? You’re silly, Cam.”
It was that simple to him, and it is that simple.
And, ladies, yes: sometimes boys do say smart things; they’re not all bad, and I’ve definitely found one that I’m going to keep.
This is for you: my friends in ministry.
When you’re not a missionary, a pastor, a prophet, an evangelist, or someone with a title in ministry, it’s easy to feel small; it’s easy to feel like you’re not making that big of an impact.
But you don’t need a title and a paycheck to feel like you’re doing something worthwhile.
People may look at you like you’re small. And I am still learning that that’s ok. Not everyone is going to get it. Not everyone is going to see the value in what you do.
But God’s kingdom will.
When you encourage someone in the Lord and see the tears of joy in their eyes…when you witness a student lifting their hands in worship for the first time…when you just hold someone and pray over them while they weep in your arms…that’s valuable.
You’re not small, insignificant, or overlooked, because God knows what you’re doing even if you don’t. He knows you are taking steps to transform the world and his Kingdom.
And you and I should be far more concerned with what God knows versus what people think.
And, yes: I have to remind myself of that daily!
That’s ok too.
Maybe this was something that I just had to write for me, or maybe some of you struggle with finding purpose in your waiting season or your ministry as well.
If that’s the case, then this is for you.
(P.S. “I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.”
1 Peter 1:6-7)